I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
