and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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