Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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