he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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