i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
