was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You made out with two different species that night
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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