So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
