your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
