my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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