He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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