why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
not ubering you a puppy
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
