I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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