508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
