I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
