omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
