Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
