I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Fuck appropriateness.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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