i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you win again, gameday.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
