I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
