Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
