Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Randomize
