Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
