bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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