he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
