how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
