I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize