Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
