Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
