I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
