is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
