the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize