Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
