Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I enjoy the company of your penis
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
