So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
