At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize