He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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