there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
