Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
