no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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