I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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