Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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