they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
wow bdsm is so cute
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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