ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
