Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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