That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We smell like vodka and hangover
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