Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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