im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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