i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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