Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
