Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
