i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
