I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize