he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
last night I used snow as a chaser
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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