can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
