no. you can't hotbox the world.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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