I can tuck mytits in my pants
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
