Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
