after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
