just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
