Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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