her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize