They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
