Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize