Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
