She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
