So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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