I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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