I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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