STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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