I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Im part way to drunk.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i believe in u and ur pee
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
