Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize