just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
