He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
