dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
