dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Alive.
So much puke
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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