I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
