Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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