my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
