walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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