Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
