you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
