Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
