I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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