It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
