I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
