I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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